Anything about June

Whenever I think about June, there’s a song that always pops into my head. You can simply say “June” to me, and I’ll immediately respond with:

You can call her June
Though she wasn’t born that month

It’s one of those wonderful songs that makes me wish I could sing and play the guitar.

And the things I could’ve sung for her
Would have been about all I wanted

So as I sat down to write a blog post about June, naturally I had to listen to this song.

And nobody knows
Why she was left alone
Nobody knows
Anything at all
Anything about June 

I know what I want to write about. I want to write about how wonderful it is to not have to dress Aurora in layers and warm clothing (which she hates). I want to write about the joy on her face as she lies outside in the sun, the breeze caressing her face and playing with her hair. I want to write about how much easier it is to take her places, to feed her. I want to write about how summer means a greater sense of freedom.

Oh June
Who would sleep through all of November
And some things growing in my window sill
Are there to make me remember 

And I want to write about last June. Last June, when things were relatively good. By the end of May, Aurora had stopped screaming every day. She could tolerate being in a room with more than one person, meaning we could finally have dinner together as a family, the four of us. I want to write about how we were optimistic, and how everything changed one Friday afternoon. I want to write about that horrible weekend when we googled “infantile spasms” and feared the worst.

I want to write about how we pulled through. Again.

 And nobody knows
What she could have been
Nobody knows
Anything about June

But I’m not able to start writing the blog post I meant to write. Because I listen to the song. I listen to the lyrics. And I know that this song was written 20 years ago, and that it’s not about Aurora at all. But it might as well be. That’s the awesome thing about music, isn’t it? Nobody knows what she could have been. Nobody knows anything about June.

I want to write about how difficult it is, not knowing what the future, let alone next month, will bring. I want to write about the constant uncertainty, the lack of straight answers to our questions. But that’s another blog post, I think. For now, I just listen to the song. And think about June.

Oh June
Who I know disappeared in May
And the things you would hear in a lifetime
Are nothing
Nothing she would say 

And nobody knows
About her wind and where it blows
Nobody knows anything at all
Anything about June
Anything about June

Anything ‘Bout June is a song by singer/songwriter Unni Wilhelmsen. Check out her website and find her music on Spotify. 

This has been a Finish the Sentence Friday post, hosted by Kristi Rieger Campbell at Findingninee. This week’s sentence is “Hey June…”